Wednesday, October 22, 2014

Finally Seeing the Light

I'll be honest, things have been pretty miserable here in the Buechler household the past couple of months. Pair a grouchy, tired, emotional, sore mama with a four year old who acts like a smart-ass, rude teenager and you end up with a daddy who ends up irritable and wanting to be anywhere but at home with a bunch of monsters.  Q is the only one who seems to be rolling through the days with a smile on her beautiful little face.

I decided yesterday that I was going to take on more of a "I don't give a $%^&" attitude about some things to see how that worked for us.  Instead of nagging Dane to get dressed, I simply sent him upstairs with instructions to do it, then let him take however long he was going to take (we had an episode the other day of it taking 45 minutes for him to put one sock on, that included much screaming and tears from both of us).  I think that had the biggest impact on our day, because it didn't start out with a huge, exhausting battle.  I also tried to ignore the annoyances and noise of my two wild children running a muck, and the mess they create.  Rather than yelling at the dog for following me around and staring at me, I simply ignored her.

By the time Chad came home I was at my wits end anyways, and physically maxed out, but I made a real effort to be nice and loving.  We had an okay evening, and I went to bed feeling a little better about life in general.

The kids slept in this morning, I jumped out of bed at 8:17am, knowing we needed to leave the house at 8:45am to go pick up Chad and go to my midwifery appointment.  We got on the road right at 8:45am by some miracle, only to hear that a stalled semi in the heart of downtown Seattle meant the commute that would normally take 30 mins with carpool would take 90 minutes.  Yeah, okay.  I kept as calm as possible, and took my super secret back way into the city.  We didn't get to pick up Chad, but we made it to my appointment 15 minutes late, it only took us 75 minutes to get there. The kids were amazing in the car, especially since they had only had a piece of celery, a piece of turkey, and a few sips of milk each before we dashed out the door.

We had to wait a bit to be seen since they switched my appointment with the person after me since she showed up early (showoff, she must have been coming from the opposite direction).  Anyways, I have only gained a pound in the last three weeks (yay!) so I am sitting at about 36 pounds gained and my blood pressure was stellar (shocking after that terrible drive).  The midwife confirmed that baby was head down, but she was only 90% so she did a quick u/s to be sure.  He is facing the left, so I plan to do as much hands and knees time as possible to get him into optimal position facing my back.  She did the Group B Strep swab, so fingers crossed that comes back negative so we have one less this to worry about.

We discussed my birth plan very briefly, but we both figured there is no reason things wouldn't already go according to my wishes.  I did ask her about c-sections, and what their current practices are.  I said that I would want the baby to go immediately to Chad for skin to skin, rather than being wrapped up and his face shoved in front of mine without me having the ability to hold him.  She said skin to skin is possible with mam, but that it is just a bit awkward.   I also asked about breech births, and she said there are some OBs there that will allow a breech delivery if I were to come in with baby almost on his way out, and that it is not hospital policy to rush in for a cesarean.  I love that the midwives don't make me feel like I am a total pain in the ass when I ask questions like that.

So here I sit, 36.5 week pregnant, and I am actually feeling better (mentally at least) than I have in months.  Chad and I are making a concerted effort to be more peaceful so the baby can join us in a loving home instead of a stressful one like it's been the past few months.  I know I have no control over when he decides to arrive, but I am really hoping for as soon after November 5th as possible.  My best friend is out of town until the 4th, and I would really love for her to be able to make it.  At the same time, I don't know how I could stand carrying a baby all the way to 40 weeks, so I hope he comes before November 14th or I might end up in the loony bin.  It really helps that November is drawing near, and an end to the misery of pregnancy is actually in sight.  Knowing I am just 23 days away from my due date is so much less daunting than 100 days, or 200 days.  Dang pregnancy last forever!  I am daydreaming constantly of being able to wear non-yoga pants again, even if they are still maternity clothes (because you bet I will rock those for months after birth). I can fit in my maternity jeans, but I can't sit in them, so they are basically useless at this point. I also can't wait to fit in my stellar selection of hoodies, because let's face it, the one my mom loaned me so I would have one that fit is getting a little boring.

More than anything, I can't wait to meet the baby I have been having multiple dreams a night about.  I can't wait to hold him in my arms, and argue with Dane and Chad over who gets to snuggle him on their chests while we watch a show in the evening (a debate we had last night).  It is so exciting imagining what he will look like!  In one dream, he looked like my brother, with dark brown hair and dark brown eyes, and with a full grown adult's nose (freaky!)

Here's my 36.5 week photo from tonight.  Notice I don't look like a complete grouch?

And here is my 36 weeks 5 day photo from when I was pregnant with Q:

 And three weeks before Dane was born, I look so rested!